Thursday, January 27, 2011

Help Me

My days are long
My dreams are gone
My tears are dry
I only know how to cry
My mind is shaking
My heart is breaking
Can someone repair me
And love me for all that they see
Is someone out there
That would even think to dare
And try to repair
The one I have become to be


Look around and what do you see?
I see no one left to fight for me
They have dissapeared and gone
Left with no note of so long
Now I stand here and fight
The dark is closing in on my light
The pain getting stronger
The fight getting longer
I guess I am alone
To fight this battle on my own
I will not accept defeat
I will not bow down to their feet
I will fight till the end
And my heart I will defend
So I guess this is goodbye my dear
Please go on without me and do not live in fear

Why Me?

Dripping off my arm
Only myself to harm
All the stains bloody red
Covering my floor and my bed
Can anyone hear
All my screams of fear
Pouring out of me
Like a bloody sea
The clock ticking down
Soon there will be no sound
Only the silence of the dead
Because all the pain was left unsaid

Pain from a lover

Where does my heart stand with you?
All the pain inside but you have no clue
The razor starts to burn
Your love is the only thing I earn
My veins will run dry
There will be no one left to cry
It is to late to regret
My heart won't forget
You destroyed me
So I could clearly see
I am not worth anything at all
And that I am just meant to fall

Thursday, December 16, 2010


He means so much to me, but I mean so little to him. I fell into a black hole. Fell for the lies, when all he was and wanted was lust. Breaking hearts is his speciality. Lying is his game. I am a puzzle piece that will be tossed away when he finds a new girl. Or has he already? Is he just keeping me around to destroy me? For once I wish he was telling the truth. Telling me what is really going on. I'm not worth the truth, I guess. What am I worth then? Am I worth anything at all? Was I worth anything, did I mean anything to him? If I give up he comes back and pulls me in. Tells me I'm ok. Then drops me on my ass when I'm better. A never ending cycle of broken hearts. I guess thats all it will ever be. I'm not good enough for him or anyone else. Did anyone really love me? Or was it all lies to cover up the plan to hurt me? Did I do anything to deserve this pain? I'm not sure anymore. I guess I'll always be broken. Broken and destroyed.

Friday, December 3, 2010


Focusing is getting harder
Breathing getting slower
Hope gettting lower
Is it me?
Am I the one to blame?
I fell for the lies
Now the pain is here
My heart broken
My head spining
You were my everything
I would have given anything
To hear you say I love you
Now I don't give a damn
You can try to shake me all you can
But I'm not going down again
I'm stronger, wiser than I was before
I don't love you anymore
Say goodbye
And close your eyes
You'll never control me again

My Deep Thoughts

What do people see when they look at me?
The girl I use to be?
Who makes people laugh and smile
Who hides her tears inside so no one will have to hear her cry
Or do they see they monster inside of me?
One who enjoys pain
And always loes the game
One who cuts to live
And lives to cut
Do they know what they have done to me?
Destroyed ever happy part of me
Made me cry myself to sleep
Ripped me to pieces and made me fall
Wanting me to stand up and be tall
So they can abuse me again and again
What happens when the cut doesn't stop bleeding?
And I run out of blood
Would they cry?
Would they miss me at all?
I guess I'll find out soon
The last thing to do is.....