Thursday, December 16, 2010


He means so much to me, but I mean so little to him. I fell into a black hole. Fell for the lies, when all he was and wanted was lust. Breaking hearts is his speciality. Lying is his game. I am a puzzle piece that will be tossed away when he finds a new girl. Or has he already? Is he just keeping me around to destroy me? For once I wish he was telling the truth. Telling me what is really going on. I'm not worth the truth, I guess. What am I worth then? Am I worth anything at all? Was I worth anything, did I mean anything to him? If I give up he comes back and pulls me in. Tells me I'm ok. Then drops me on my ass when I'm better. A never ending cycle of broken hearts. I guess thats all it will ever be. I'm not good enough for him or anyone else. Did anyone really love me? Or was it all lies to cover up the plan to hurt me? Did I do anything to deserve this pain? I'm not sure anymore. I guess I'll always be broken. Broken and destroyed.

Friday, December 3, 2010


Focusing is getting harder
Breathing getting slower
Hope gettting lower
Is it me?
Am I the one to blame?
I fell for the lies
Now the pain is here
My heart broken
My head spining
You were my everything
I would have given anything
To hear you say I love you
Now I don't give a damn
You can try to shake me all you can
But I'm not going down again
I'm stronger, wiser than I was before
I don't love you anymore
Say goodbye
And close your eyes
You'll never control me again

My Deep Thoughts

What do people see when they look at me?
The girl I use to be?
Who makes people laugh and smile
Who hides her tears inside so no one will have to hear her cry
Or do they see they monster inside of me?
One who enjoys pain
And always loes the game
One who cuts to live
And lives to cut
Do they know what they have done to me?
Destroyed ever happy part of me
Made me cry myself to sleep
Ripped me to pieces and made me fall
Wanting me to stand up and be tall
So they can abuse me again and again
What happens when the cut doesn't stop bleeding?
And I run out of blood
Would they cry?
Would they miss me at all?
I guess I'll find out soon
The last thing to do is.....


Hiding tears
Hiding feeling
Hiding hope
What about my dreams?
Hiding pain
Hiding scars
Do they know what all I hide?
Hiding me all of me
Hiding screams
Hiding everything a person
Is made out to be
What about me?
Do they forget
And just move on
Or do they hide like
I hide
Do they cut
Like I cut
Will I ever know?
I hide